Emotions or lack of them
by cola-and-bubblegum
Summary: Stiles has developed a crush on Derek and when Derek requests his presence on a lookout with him things get a bit... different between them. Sterek Fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Stiles Smiles.

Chapter 1.

Stiles had become used to being the third wheel. Scott was so obsessed with Allison he often forgot Stiles completely. It didnt hurt Stiles as much as he first thought it would he had quite a bit to keep him occupied: video games, research, school work, lacrosse but recently things had gotten a bit boring. Stiles wasn't miserable he was just bored, and boredom was probably worse than being upset in his eyes because there isnt anything you can do to try and fix it. You are bored until you aren't and that is that.

The boredom had lasted for weeks when Derek turned up out of the blue (as he did). It had been another tedious lacrosse practice, just sitting on the sidelines doing nothing. Stiles got home, his dad wasnt back yet he was out covering someone else again, he got to his room closed his door and jumped about 3 feet in the air. "Argh! Oh my god, Derek! I know this whole appearing from nowhere thing is your kind of thing, but can you think for one minute about the effect this is having on my heart I can only take being scared so many times..." Derek said nothing just glaring after rolling his eyes. "Well what do you want? You can have the decency to tell me what you want after scaring the hell out of me." "I'll pick you up at 8." Derek replied and then left without saying anything else.

"Great what crazy ass mission thing has that emotionally constipated werewolf got in store now" Stiles muttered to himself, he hoped Derek would be out of his werewolf long range earshot by now. Stiles didnt dislike Derek, infact he quite liked him alot but he got annoyed by his lack of emotional response to well... anything. And Stiles didnt dislike the strange sitting in the car look-outs they did together, it was nice to spend time with him, he had a bit of a crush on Derek allthough he denied it to everyone (including himself) he'd had enough unrequited love with Lydia.

He changed his clothes, sat down, turned on his computer and just stared at the screen doing nothing but thinking. He was getting deep into thought when he was dragged away from it by the sound of the Camero's horn outside.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So..." Stiles said after a long while. Derek turned towards him "What?" he asked in a flat voice. "How long have we been here?" Stiles said in reply. "About two hours." he replied "Really that long?" Derek just turned back silently.

Stiles sighed other than the little exchange they'd just had the only sound Stiles had heard for the time they'd been there was the gentle pur of the Camero's engine and the heaters. He wished they were in his Jeep, it may not have been as comfortable but it felt more familiar than this.

As time passed he began to slip into thought, leaning his head against the window staring out into the dark. They had been parked infront of an old cabin in the woods for ages and honestly, it was just plain boring to Stiles. A little log cabin in the middle of a dark wood may sound like something out of a horror movie but it was just a plain, four walled, old, uninteresting cabin. What they were looking for out here just puzzled Stiles he doubted that any being supernatural or not would spend more than an hour in somewhere like this, it was awful, and there wasnt as much as the sound of a twig snapping outside to draw their attention so why they hadn't just left was beyond him.

He sat deep in thought for a while before questioning why was he even here with Derek. They didn't know eachother very well and though they occasionally did this together, it seemed quite strange. Every time they went on a look out nothing happened. No monster appeared, there was nothing to stop or defeat they had just been sat together for hours on end.

"Derek, why do you bring me along to these look outs?" Stiles asked. There was no reply. "I mean surely one of your pack would be better for this kind of thing... I'm not exactly best equipped for a dangerous situation. Sarcasm may work against werewolves but im not so sure it would work against... what are we even looking for?" Derek sat up straight in his chair. "What do you mean 'one of your pack'? You are pack arent you?" Stiles turned to him, a puzzled look on his face. "How can I be pack if I'm not a werewolf?" Derek let slip a short sigh. "Stiles" he said "you don't need to be a werewolf to be pack, I thought you'd have worked that out." Stiles smiled slightly at the though of being wanted in a pack but it was short lived and was quicly replaced with a questioning look again. "Whats the point in having me in your pack though? I'm not useful, I'm definitely not some deadly killer like Allison im just some motor-mouthed guy..."

"You're intelligent" Derek said. "If its intelligence you want why not bring Lydia with you instead of me? She's more clever than I am..." Stiles questioned.

"She isn't you though is she?" Derek replied, then turning back to face the cabin. Stiles just looked at him. "What?"

Derek took the hand break off and the Camero pulled away from the cabin "Never mind" he said "I'm taking you back home."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Stiles was sure he was reading too deep into this. He was sure his little crush was clouding his judgement, but something was telling him he maybe right. Derek could like him back. 'She's not you' that has to mean something he told himself. But he was quick to dicourage himself. How could Derek like him? Derek the big alpha werewolf who was pretty much unquestionably straight. He always takes the slightest hint too seriously he was telling himself. He had done the same thing with Lydia, the slightest hint no matter how small would fill him with hope that she liked him back... and she never did. That crushed him. The thought of it happening again scared him yet he realised it was a reality. He was doing the same thing with Derek he realised, and he was setting himself up to get hurt.

Stiles was laying on his bed. It was the place he felt most comfortable, most at ease. He often just lay down to think when he needed to.

He lay there just thinking things over and over while staring into space a cool breeze sweeping across him. He just continued to stare until he realised there couldnt be a breeze... his door and window were closed. He sat bolt upright and looked straight at his window. It was fully opened and in front of it stood Derek.

"What?" Stiles asked bluntly. "I just wanted to apologise for last week, I feel like things got a bit awkward on the look out..." Derek said in a near monotone. "I didnt think you were capable of apologising, it doesnt really seem like your kind of thing." Stiles snapped.

Derek scowled, his eyes almost had a look of hurt glinting through, then turned and jumed out of the window.

Stiles lost all his anger that had appeared from what seemed nowhere. He realised the whole time he'd been thinking he was just winding himself up. He was so paranoid of the thought of breaking his own heart again that he had began to blame Derek for something he hadn't done.

Sure Derek was the reason Stiles was getting upset but it wasnt Derek causing it, it was Stiles.

It was another lonely week later before Stiles saw Derek again. He was walking home from lacrosse. He decided not to take the Jeep as he needed the fresh air.

Stiles was walking through the forest when he saw him. "Derek!" he called starting to jog slightly to catch up with the werewolf who was walking a bit ahead. Derek stopped and turned. The usual blank expression on his face. "I just wanted to apologise for what I said" Stiles began "I erm, I was pretty wrong saying that, I was just upset I guess..."

Derek nodded. Stiles was suddenly overcome with everything he had felt about Derek he felt awful for hurting him. He didnt know for definate that he had hurt him but he was quite sure he had.

He felt his eyes watering a bit. He knew Derek could practically smell his emotions and it just made it more awkward for him. "I guess you were wrong I'm quite stupid really..." Stilesmuttered then just walked away leaving Derek standing, staring after him. A look of concern creeping onto his face.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Stiles was sure Derek wouldnt want to see him again, especially after he'd about broken down infront of him. That was until he found derek sat next to him on his bed and it seemed even stranger that Derek was comforting him.

"Whats wrong Stiles?" "I am..." Stiles sighed. "I erm well I do this thing where I think that someone likes me, and I kind of let myself fall for them, and its never reciprocated and it really hurts and I've done it again... i've let myself fall..."

"Who for?" Derek enquires. This flags as a bit strange to Stiles: Derek taking an interest in his love life, but Stiles is too caught up with everything else to bother to notice.

"It doesn't matter I wouldn't stand a chance with them anyway..." Stiles was saying. "you never know that, they're the only person who can tell you if you stand a chance with them."

"It's not like that Derek, it isnt even a girl its a guy." "What difference does the gender make? You like them so why not talk to them about it, Stiles?"

"I... I... look Derek it's you I like, I dont know how you havent worked it out yet concidering your super werewolf powers and stuff and I know you dont like me back and stuff so its fine for you to just leave and feel awkward because thats what I am..." Stiles confessed, andrenaline pulsing through his veins. He couldnt believe he had just said that. He was recovering from it when Derek placed his hand on his, then Stiles lost all thought.

"I didnt want you to feel awkward because I knew and... I didnt think it would be ok for me to say I well... incase I was reading your emotions wrong..."

"Wait, what?!" stiles exclaimed "Do you like me?" Derek nodded slightly. It wasnt the most romantic thing in the world and it was coming from a quite bluntly: emotionally constpated werewolf but it meant the world to Stiles. Someone liked him and his flaws it seemed impossible to him but here he was being held by the hand of his crush.

It was real.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Stiles was stood infront of the bathroom mirror styling his hair, sweeping it left, then right, then left and up, fiddling with his wavy hair. "Ugh I cant get it right... I'm going to look rubish on my first date! Brilliant!"

He stood staring into the mirror having found a hair style that he was mildly satisfied with,deciding if he tried to find a better one he'd be there all night. He was dressed in a plain shirt, jeans and a hoodie and just hoping it was good enough.

He wasn't really prepared for a date, he hadn't exactly done this properly before, he didnt even know what Derek had planned for the night. For all he knew he could be going to a super-posh resteraunt (though it seemed unlikely for a first date). Stiles sat and waited. Derek had said he'd be there around eight o'clock and Stiles was sat there at his desk, hand rested under his chin at half six ready for the date.

'Okay maybe I do have time to fiddle with my hair some more...' Stiles thought but he didnt, he just did what he normally did when sat at his desk: opened his laptop, turned it on and began to research whatever came to mind. In particular with obvious cause this night he was looking at anything regarding dating werewolves. Obviously nothing of much help came up as he expected, but it was nice to try and find some tips even if there were none.

He closed his laptop as the door bell went. Stiles ran to the hallway before slowing just before the door to not look desparate then opened the door a smile plastered across his face.

"Hey, Derek."

"Hi, Stiles. Are you ready to go?"

"Er yeah." Stiles replied stepping out and shutting the door behind him.

As it turned out Derek hadn't booked some fancy resteraunt, he had elected instead for a picnic on a hill in Beacon Hills. Stiles was shocked by the romantic thought behind this he geniuinely didn't think this was Derek's kind of thing: being sweet and lovey but he was evidently wrong.

They had taken the Camero there and Stiles regretted only bringing a hoodie slightly as it was a bit cold but it wasnt anything he couldnt handle. They sat side by side on the cold grass having finished the little hamper of food Derek had brought with them. Stiles kept his hands out of his pockets, placing one nearer to Derek hoping, praying Derek might hold it just for a while.

After half an hour he gave in and shoved his hands in his pockets, it was cold and though Stiles didnt like having his hands in his pockets because it felt like he was putting himself away, like he didnt want Derek to hold him (which completely was not the case), but he did it to warm his hands.

"This is easily one of the best nights I've had..." Stiles said absent-mindedly. He would've started regretting it if he didn't see the smile that crept onto Dereks face. Dereks entire face lit up when he smiled. Stiles looked into his dark eyes they were utterly mesmerising, the reflection of the stars made it look as though he could see the universe in his eyes.

Stiles placed his hand back onto the grass hoping that Derek would hold it, and he was just about to take it back when Derek placed his warm hand on his looking into Stiles' eyes. Derek leaned in and Stiles, knowing the werewolf wouldn't take the plunge easily, took his chance and stole a kiss.

It wasnt perfect. It was a little sloppy and misplaced but to Stiles it was like the world had given him the ultimate present, even if it only lasted for a few seconds it was amazing. Stiles didnt believe anything was perfect but kissing Derek came pretty damn close.

"Was that your first kiss?" Derek asked. "Hmm I think as that goes it was one of the better of the worlds kisses... so it hardly matters when it's that good..." Stiles replied.

"Well I'm not quite sure it was the most amazing kiss in existance, but we could try again if you like?"

"Oh my god." Stiles said leaning in again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A few months after their first date and Stiles was really getting into the whole relationship thing. Like really getting into it. He was texting Derek almost 24/7, they were watching films at the movies together, and they had even had a romantic meal... well it was a bit of a disaster but Stiles decided to class it as romantic even though he was throwing flaming poppadoms out of the back door after leaving them in the oven for too long because Derek had distracted him.

Derek had started to come out of his shell a bit too. He was hugging and holding hands and kissing more without Stiles even having to provoke it. Stiles was loving it but Derek as more open as he was getting Stiles couldnt help but think Derek was keeping something from him.

He didnt have time to dwell on that though his phone was buzzing and Derek's name was plastered across the flashing screen.

"Hey Derek!"

"Hey Stiles."

"How are you?" Stiles asked.

"I'm alright thanks, look you want to go for a coffee tonight? I want to talk about something." Derek said a little hint of emotion in his voice but Stiles couldn't tell what emotion it was.

"Er... Yeah sure sounds good. What did you want to talk about?"

"We'll talk about it later, I've got to go see you later."

"Okay see ya..." Stiles said hanging up.

Oh god what could derek want to talk about that he couldnt talk about over the phone? Is he going to break up with me? Stiles thought panicking. His mind was racing with possibilities none of them looked very positive.

Oh god Stiles kept thinking over and over. He'd spent an hour just thinking about this before deciding to do something productive... and by productive he was thinking video games they always helped him calm his mind. If mindlessly killing zombies didnt take his mind off of things then nothing would.

Stiles was sat in the coffee shop waiting patiently for Derek. Scanning the menu repeatedly for something the slightest bit healthier that the humungous list of cookies they had on offer but in the end it was futile he went with a chcocolate chip cookie and just as the waitress left with his order Derek walked in.

"Hey" Stiles said cheerily.

"Hey" Derek smiled back.

That was good he wasnt looking down or upset so it couldnt be a breakup stiles hoped.

"What did you want to talk about?" Stiles asked inquisitive.

"How about we just sit and have a coffee for a while?" Derek said. His eyes were looking playful Stiles could tell he was doing this to annoy him.

"Well how was your day sweetie?" Stiles said.

"it was pretty good thanks, Erica dropped by earlier. She says hi by the way..."

"Aw thats nice I havent really been up to much to be honest just zombie killing as usual..."

"You play so many video games its unhealthy" Derek chuckled. "We'll have to find you something more active."

"I do lacrosse as you well know I exercise enough thank you."

"Ha ha okay if you say so."

"Well I do thanks" Stiles said sarcastically.

A few coffees and cookies later and they decided to leave.

"Fancy a walk through the forest?" Derek asked.

"Sure!"

The forest air was cold and the air was still and a few stars illuminated the sky above the rest covered by some rather dark clouds. It was really beautiful Stiles thought although it looked like he was going to need a rain coat.

They had been walking for about fifteen minutes when they found a large clearing covered with grass that was a dark shade of green and glistening in the starlight.

It was here that Derek stopped and turned to Stiles.

"Stiles... concidering you're old enough and you might want to... but... im not sure if you do... if you dont its fine but I wanted to know..." Derek paused. "Close your eyes and hold out your hand." He instructed.

Stiles obeyed without a moments hesitation. Palm out stretched and eyes squeezed shut he waited. Derek placed something in his hand.

It was small, cold and metal. Jagged edged down one side Stiles was wondering what it was when Derek said "Open..."

Stiles opened his eyes. In his hand was a small, shiny brass key.

"You can say no if you want" Derek said.

"Are you... Are you asking me to move in with you? Is this what you've been keeping from me?

"Erm yeah and you dont have to if you dont want..."

Stiles' face lit up and he beamed. "Why the hell would I say no?"

Derek smiled, waited for a second then pulled Stiles in for a massive hug, promptly followed by a rather fantastic kiss Stiles as thought.

It started to rain as they kissed and Stiles who was over the moon simply thought 'this is so damn cliched... it's like hollywood... it's brilliant... that was until he realised he was getting soaking wet and it was pretty damn cold outside.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The sky was a bright sapphire blue, with the occasional cotton white cloud floating overhead. The breeze was warm and comfortable in a strange way. Stiles stepped out of the front door onto the path infront of the door step where the last of his neatly boxed things were waiting for Derek to place into the Jeep. He took a deep breath pulling himself together slightly.

He turned around. His father was stood infront of him in the doorway of the house where he had grown up, had lost his mother, had spent years living in. His Dad was like a barrier urging him to move onwards.

"You'll visit won't you Dad?" Stiles asked.

"Of course. Why wouldnt I?"

"I dont know..." Stiles said his voice breaking a little, and his eyes welling up a little.

"Dont you start crying son. You'll start me off. Now i'll see you soon, and enjoy your new home."

"Bye Dad." Stiles said teary eyed, turning around and seeing Derek loading his stuff into the jeep. His future was literally infront of him he thought to himself.

Derek looked up, seeing Stiles crying went over and hugged him, smiling reasuringly over Stiles' shoulder at the sheriff.

He then turned taking Stiles' hand in his own and led him into the car, got in and started the engine. Stiles took a last look at his father before the car pulled away.

The drive wasnt long but it was thereputic with the occasional bump in the road. The trees and bushes along the side of the road forming a green blur with the blue sky above. Stiles wondered what the Hale house looked like after the refurbrishment. He actually hadn't gone round yet, Derek was either coming round to his or they were going out for meals and dates they never went to Derek's.

He didnt have long to wait before he was pleasantly surprised.

The Hale house was nothing like its old husk that Stiles had last seen it as. It was a large beautiful vision of white wooden pannels and spotless windows. The large double doors at the front of the house were a dark blue with golden brass knobs.

It was overly welcoming.

Stiles took out his key and with a little triumph pushed it into the door and unlocked it. The heavy doors creaked open as he pushed them. Inside was just as beautiful as outside. A dark oak floor lay out infront of him covered in places by antique red rugs. The stairs were stood a little further in with white banisters and oak handrails leading up to a white walled landing. There was a smell of food coming from further in. Stiles stepped over the threshold and Derek stepped past him carrying his boxes upstairs to what Stiles presumed was going to be his room.

The smell of cooking intrigued Stiles so he walked towards the smell of food which, was enevitably in the kitchen and he realised something that he was stupid for forgetting: Peter hale lived here too.

"Morning Stiles." Peter said warmly as he walked towards the table with a plate of bacon, eggs and sausage, smiling.

"Hey." said Stiles smiling shyly.

"Well do you like the place?" Peter asked, his smile warmer than before.

"Its amazing..." Stiles said. A look of triumph spread it's way across Peter's face. "I never thought I'd end up living somewhere like this..." stiles continued "It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." Peter said.

Stiles turned to look for Derek. "And Stiles..." Stiles turned back around. "Welcome home." Peter finished sincerity lining his voice.

"Thank you" Stiles said turning again and walking off to find Derek.

Derek was in a large room upstairs filled with wooden furniture. A double bed, two chests of drawers and a wardrobe with a bedside table on either side of the bed. The room was large with white walls and a big window in a wall flooding the room with sunlight, catching the particles of dust in the air giving a homely feel to the room.

Derek was bent over placing Stiles' things under the bed. He got up walked over to Stiles who was stood in the doorway and looked back into the room.

"What do you think of your new room?" Derek asked.

"I love it." Stiles replied greatfully. "This is our room though isnt it? You're going to be with me aren't you?"

"If you want then yes, I just didnt want to assume..." He was broken off by Stiles kissing him softly.

"It's amazing" Stiles said pulling back and looking into the room again.

"Well its been a long morning, you should get some rest before we unpack your things properly."

"Only if you'll lay with me..." Stiles said before going to the bed and laying on his back on the soft white sheets.

"Happily." Derek said laying next to him.

Stiles placed his head on Derek's warm chest, listening to his boyfriends heartbeat and feeling the steady rise and fall of Dereks steady rythms lulled Stiles off to sleep with thoughts of happiness filling his head.

Derek lay awake comforted by his boyfriend layng on his chest, placed an arm around him. He let his emotions flow, the sense of security and happiness and stability that he had not felt for a long time were overwhelming and brought a tear to his eye. The tear of joy rolled down his face as he kised stiles' head.

"I love you..." Derek whispered. "I love you so much..."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Life with the Hales was pretty good. Stiles had to admit he didnt think he would feel so at home somewhere where he hadn't grown up in, and yet there he was waking up in the warm arms of Derek and feeling so at peace, listening to the gentle breathing of his boyfriend like it was the best sound in the universe (well it was second best to Dereks voice but they were both really comforting sounds). He looked forward to waking up in the morning, to consiously feel Derek wrapped around him in a warm house that felt safe.

Stiles turned over to face his boyfriends gentle sleeping face, he looked so happy asleep and Stiles hoped that some part of his happiness was because of him. In fact though stiles didnt know it a very large part of Derek's happiness was due to Stiles.

Derek stirred letting out a sleepy sigh before opening his eyes a little. Stiles believed that you could tell a lot about someone by looking into their eyes and when Stiles looked into dereks he saw nothing but beauty and caring.

"Morning sweetie..." Stiles sighed contently.

"Morning..." Derek sleepily grunted back. "You ok?"

"Yeah thanks... now I need to get up... work... it kind of sucks but yeah..." Stiles droned out thinking about the next few hours he was going to be spending bored at the library where he assisted at over the summer in an effort to bring in a bit of cash before going back to college.

"Aw well I'll make pancakes for you to help you feel better." Derek said a smile on his face as he rose from the bed and went over to hug stiles.

"Thankyou..." Stiles said leaning in and kissing Derek before heading to the bathroom.

Derek went down stairs planning things out in his head. He had things to do and organise today to make things perfect. He was planning it all out out while doing Stiles' pancakes when Peter walked in.

"Why hello, Derek. You're up a bit early arent you?" Peter inquired.

"Stiles has work and I have a busy day today." Derek said without even trying to mask the preoccupied sound in his voice.

"Ah well its only part time so you'll have him to yourself again soon before he goes college and besides I'm sure today won't be too busy will it?"

"Kind of, and well i'm just glad he's going to beacon hills college..." Derek sighed.

The coversation died away and Peter set about reading the paper and Derek continued making Stiles his pancakes, the sweet aroma filled the kitchen and house and Stiles could smell them from the shower which provided a very good incentive for him to hurry up a bit. In fact, they hurried him up to the point where it only took him fifteen minutes to be down at the table rather than the usual thirty when Peter made breakfast.

"I dont know what you put in those pancakes but the boy must love them if he's down this quickly..." Peter said a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Neither do I but they're amazing... not that yours aren't!" Stiles said smiling at Peter.

"Well I'm glad you like them so much." Derek said placing a plate of fresh pancakes infront of Stiles, and shortly after a plateful infront of Peter too. "Enjoy."

"So is it today?" Peter asked not looking away from his laptop.

"Yeah it is, it seems like the right time... I mean we've been living together a few months now... you dont think im rushing things" Derek over the past year had grown to trust his uncle immensly, almost as much as he trusted Stiles so would often get advice from Peter.

"No, I dont think it is. Now i'm going to leave and let you get on with things, I'll be back later, enjoy."

"Ok see you."

Stiles had rough day at the library he was tired from spending hours on end picking up large piles of books and lugging them though the library then placing them one by one in the correct shelves (which were often annoying to find) and helping (more often than not) rude or arrogant customers find some book or another.

He needed home and Derek and probably a nap and got into the jeep with those in mind.

It was a few hours later that Derek heard stiles' jeepdown the road (having enhanced senses was pretty helpful sometimes) he went about making sure everything was ready then went outside to wait for stiles.

It wasnt long before the jeep was parking outside the house and its driver walking over and hugging Derek.

"Hey, Derek what are you doing out here?" Stiles asked smiling.

Derek tried to hide his mischeivous smile a little. "Waiting for you. Now let me put this blindfold on you..."

"This isnt going to be some nasty practical joke is it?"

"Nope just put this on and I'll lead you inside, I have a surprise for you."

With a little hesitation stiles put the blind fold on. Now, this was what weeks of planning was leading up to Derek took Stiles by the hand and led him inside, into the kitchen and sat him at the table beforetaking off his blindfold.

Stiles couldnt belive his eyes he was sat at a candle lit table with a plate piled high of amazing smelling, looking and (he could pretty much guarantee) amazing tasting food.

"What's all this for?" Stiles asked in disbelief.

Derek sat opposite him, grabbed Stiles' hand with both of his took a deep breath and just asked "Marry me?"

Stiles went from happy to ecstacy and euphoria in 0.001 seconds flat and probably had a small breakdown somewhere in that time as well. "I..." Stiles managed, feeling as though his heart was about to give in with how fast it was beating.

He took a moment, gathered his scattered thoughts and to what he concidered the best question of his life: said "Yes!"


End file.
